Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Hail the Almighty God!


Who are you gonna turn to when your husband cheats on you?


Who are you gonna turn to when your company fires you?


Who are you gonna turn to when your family disown you?



Place your trust in him...

He will never forsake you...

The God of Gods...

The Almighty One...

Jesus


Yes...come to me my sons. Me is the Almighty God who created pigs, cows, mosquitoes, cockroaches and even Muslims. In short, me created eveything in the world. Me buried thousands of tons of gold on earth. Me placed billions of gallons of oil in the Middle East. Me created millions of carats of diamonds in South Africa.

Me placed so many riches in the world for you. If you need anything more, hot chicks, dumb blondes, busty babes, "Ask and you shall receive". Me will answer your prayers. Me said it many times in the bible, but me like the way me say it in Mark 11:24 the best: "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." You name it, me have it for you.

Me can give you so many many good things. All me ask in return is 10% of your gross income every month. Think of it as a starting point. You can feel free to give more and please give generously when they pass around the offering plate on Sundays. Me can answer any prayers but me can't give a cent to churches and me don't know why. All me know is me need your money, lots of your money.

So, please visit your local church today and give generously. Me thank all of you for your support!

Amen

*please call 1800-88-1988 for more info
*all calls are charged $100.00 per minute. Minors feel free to call because your parents will definitely not object to you calling God.

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